Currently, I'm back in the USA. I know, it seems like I never left! Actually, I was in South Africa for four weeks all four of which I was sick with a cold and then a bad cough that kept getting worse. I visited a few doctors, went to the emergency room one night and finally decided to go back to the USA to see my doctor here. Last Friday night, I called my parents, and the next day I was on a flight back home!
It's been a week now, and after my second round of antibiotics several tests and x-rays, there's still not much change. But it's good to be in my bed here in the USA, to eat good food and see American doctors. Next week, I'm going to see a lung specialist. Please pray that they figure out what's wrong!
Despite the frustration of being sick and not knowing what's wrong, I'm learning a lot in this time. God has been speaking to me lately about rest. I'm not really a person who rests much. The name "Emily" means "industrious one", and that's pretty much who I am. I love work! Maybe a little too much. I don't know when I last took a sick day - I just can't stand to stay at home in bed when I think of all the things I could be accomplishing!
The other day though, I was struck by this verse in Hebrews 4:11 that says, "Let us be diligent to enter that rest." Now I know that "rest" here is talking about grace and the law, but I think it applies generally to any kind of striving and work. We have to be diligent to rest in the grace of God, to rest in the knowledge that He is God and He is working on our behalf, the knowledge that the future of our school, the people entrusted to us, our mission, and our little "world" does not depend on us, but on Him. As arrogant as it may sound, sometimes we start living like it all depends on us! I don't know if it's the sense of responsibility I have to God, or to the people that support me, or to the people I serve, but I find it difficult to take time to rest. There's always work to be done, and I am young and single and available to do it, so stopping to rest just doesn't seem to make sense.
But this verse says, "Be diligent to rest." Diligent. That's kind of a weird thought, that rest is something we have to be diligent about, something we have to work for in fact. But it really is!
And as cliche as it sounds, these days I've had a lot of time to think about life, my life, and work and relationships and rest. And I've realized how much I've been failing on the "resting" front.
So if you want to "find Emily", I'm here in my bed in the USA, and I'm doing just that...resting - doing absolutely nothing, no emails, no fundraising, no planning, no organizing, no advertising, just resting, and I'm OK with that.