So the part I didn't include in that last post about the coffee, was this...
I was in tears on my way to the store that day.
The past few months have been difficult. You know a little bit about that, dear reader. In the past three months, there hasn't been a day that I didn't think about quitting. Sometimes it's been nothing more than a fleeting thought in the back of my mind and other times it's been a tearful struggle with God. And well, that day with everything going on at school, school (s) actually because also the TESOL is running right now, and the base and my personal life - well it had all just added up to too much and I wasn't coping. And the worst part was that I didn't think that God cared. So that afternoon I had drafted a resignation email to my leader but delayed sending it on a little prayer to God that went something like this, "God, I'm gonna quit. But if you want me to stay, you better give me a sign before tomorrow morning."
I know, I know. It sounds a little stubborn. It's true. But when I get upset, I get stubborn. And well, God about knows that.
Now if you have been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know all about my long-time love affair with Starbucks coffee. And you also probably know that it's pretty much non-existent in South Africa with the exception of one grocery store which has been sold out for four months.
Well, you might not believe this, but of all the days that the grocery store could have gotten restocked with Starbucks coffee, it was that day.
It was THAT day!
Wait, did you get that? It was THAT DAY!
So for me, that little package of coffee wasn't just a random coincidence or a happy chance it was a love gift from my Beloved - His little big way of saying, "I care."
What can I say?! I love that fact that I serve a God who holds the universe in His hands and still cares about something as seemingly trivial as Starbucks coffee.
So early in the morning when I don't feel like getting out of bed again or at the end of a long day when I'm thinking about quitting, I can pour myself a cup of that Starbucks coffee and remember that even though it hurts right now, He knows and He cares.
I just thought you should know the rest of the story.