Monday, May 14, 2012

Hoping for hindsight

Can you believe it's May already? I feel like I lost a month of my life. I don't know what happened to it. Was it really a whole month ago that I was sitting on my sofa watching Friends when I got that phone call from my students that they had lost someone? Was it really a month ago that that whole nightmarish week unfolded? In some ways it feels like yesterday and in many ways it still feels unreal.

But life. marches. on.

There's no such thing as autumn in South Africa and I miss it. Autumn is like nature's way of preparing us for winter. It makes the change from hot to cold such a beautifully slow transition that instead of bemoaning the sudden onset of cold weather you almost start to crave it.

Change ought to always be like that, slow and almost imperceptible like the seasons, so that at some point the change you once detested becomes the very thing you long for. But funnily enough the most significant changes in our life are rarely slow. Instead, they are usually thrown upon us by circumstance and the seemingly capricious will of God. It is only in the hindsight of spring and new beginnings that one looks back and sees in it all the loving hand of a good and perfect Father.

And that's where all this change has left me...wishing for an autumn that never was, and hoping for hindsight.


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