Do you ever feel like as soon as you get a new revelation or make a new resolve in your life, God immediately decides to test you on it? Well that would pretty much describe my week.
I’ve been watching this sermon series called “Why Worry?” I am a chronic worrier. It kind of runs in my family, at least my Mom’s side of the family. Dad and my sister pretty much live joyous carefree lives, while Mom, my brother and I worry enough for the lot of us. Seriously, if there’s something you haven’t worried about, don’t worry, we’ve probably got it covered. I mean, I’m that kind of person who wakes up in the middle of the night just to worry about something, as if my midnight crisis will somehow solve it. And now with 46 students and staff I’ve got 46 different reasons to have a sleepless night. Anyways, you can see why I probably needed to hear this sermon.
After watching this series, I had this great revelation that worrying accomplished nothing, and that after having done all, I could just trust my heavenly Father. Then BAM God gave me the most worry-worthy week ever! One sick teacher, a very big visa problem, a student being suddenly stricken blind and hospitalized, not enough teachers and staff for next term, several unpleasant phone calls, a broken phone line, angry people who couldn’t get through to me because of the broken phone line, an unbalanced budget, school fees that couldn’t be paid and teacher salaries that must be paid, a bombing in Korea, crying students, failing students, sick students…I could go on, but I’ll spare you.
Anyways, in the midst of the substitute teaching, many long hours with my excel spreadsheet and a calculator, swamped with apologies and phone calls and emails and meetings and discussions and tests, I completely forgot about my recent resolve not to worry, which finally resulted in me spending Thanksgiving Eve in tears. And that's when God ever so gently reminded me:
“Can you by worrying add a single hour to your life?...See how the flowers of the field grow…if that is how God clothes the grass of the field…will He not much more clothe you, oh you of little faith?” (Matthew 6)
Well, the very next day He came through in miraculous ways. I don’t like to use the “m” word very lightly, but there is really no other word to describe it. And it was as if every answer to prayer echoed His cosmic, “I told you so.”
There are still many loose ends of course, but I really don't want a repeat of this week, so until my worry starts to grow money or heal the sick, I’ve decided to ditch it and get some sleep. So goodnight world.